Ed Wars Episode IV An Ed Hope
by Tnelson711
Summary: My first K rated fanfic in a while. A Star Wars Parody. While Ed Skywalker Ed is taught by Edd Kenobi Double-D the ways of the Jedi, the evil Darth Vader Johnny captures Princess Leia Sara . Review!
1. Prologue

A long time ago, in a Cul-De-Sac far far away...

It was a beautiful day in Peach Creek. The sun was shining (sorry if I misspelled), the birds were singing, and a group of kids were attempting to sell lightsabers.....!

HOLD ON A DOG GONE MINUTE! Why would anyone sell lightsabers in the first place? In fact, where did the Eds get lightsabers in the first place? Unless... this'll be good. Since I'd be ruining the story by telling you what will happen, let's look into this, shall we?

"Attention, kids of the Cul-De-Sac!" announced Eddy. "For a limited time only, you can own your very own lightsaber! Straight from Star Wars. And it's cheap – only a quarter is needed to buy it!"

"These lightsabers have the same light from the movies, and the same sound FX! But they can't cut through anything like the movies, to ensure our safety for the customers!" explained Edd, nicknamed 'Double-D'.

"Be sure to whack Darth Sidious with them!" shouted Ed. "Do not be fooled by his Chancellor Palpatine disguise!" He then was hit by someone throwing a tomato at him. "Yum!" Ed exclaimed as he licked the sauce off.

"That's for spoiling Episode III, dorks," shouted Kevin, who was passing by, and then walked off.

Eddy grimaced, then turned to Edd, who simply said, "Well, don't look at me! I simply made them. It was your idea to sell them."

Eddy seethed, looking for a comeback, causing Ed to say, "Don't press the back button, reviewers!"

"Well, what do we do with them now Sockhead?" finally said Eddy.

"Well-" Edd began to say, before the wind blew, and a piece of paper flew into his face. "What's this?" he said as he looked at the paper. "There's an upcoming fan-film festival in August! ...I have an idea on what we should do with the light swords, Eddy..."

Later...

"What is this doohickey of a sword?" asked Rolf, as he examined his toy lightsaber.

"Dude," said Kevin. "that's a lightsaber. You know, from Star Wars?"

"Really, son of a famous worker? Because Rolf thinks that you know nothing about the post-rural series with metallic barn houses and automatic wagon stands," said Rolf.

"You mean Star Trek?" asked Jonny.

"SAME THING!" shouted Rolf.

"Attention everyone," said Edd. "I have called you in today for you to participate in a fun and recreational activity that will dramatize this neighborhood."

"What?" said Kevin. "Making a movie about you dorks being chased by us, and try to find your leader's big brother?" He laughed at his own joke, but was unaware that he kinda made a summary of an upcoming movie.

"NO.. well, yes and no. No, it's not that kind of movie. Yes, we'll be making a movie."  
There was muttering in the crowd. Jonny shouted, "Right on! A new Star Wars movie!"

"Well, actually," said Edd. "It's a fan film, recreating the original trilogy of Star Wars with actors from Peach Creek."  
"Then" said Nazz. "Can I switch with Sara? I really want to be Princess Leia! I'd be a good actor."

"Well, while I agree that you're a good actor," said Edd. "Ed as Luke Skywalker and Sara as Princess Leia Organa will be fitting for us – no prizes for guessing, everyone."

Rolf was furious. "Why does my acting have to be not in this script? And who is this Yoda?"  
"First of all, Yoda is the wise character in the Star Wars saga, whom you'll be playing, so you're lucky. Second, he doesn't appear in Episode IV."

After some time, here were the results.

Luke Skywalker – Ed

Ben Kenobi – Edd

Emperor Palpatine – Eddy

Darth Vader - Jonny

Darth Plank - Plank

Yoda – Rolf

Princess Leia – Sara

Captain Lando's Sister – Nazz

Han Solo – Jimmy

Chewbacca – Kevin

"What?!" said Sara. "Jimmy can't play Han Solo!"

"Yes he can," said Eddy. "And he will!"

"Besides," said Edd with a smile. "It's only fitting."

"I can do this, Sara..." said Jimmy with a weak smile. "It's a chance to prove myself to the world that I'm not a weakling!"

"Yeah!" Shouted Sara, before Edd got out a camera.

"ACTION!" shouted Edd, before turning the camera on.

* * *

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 1

A Long Time ago, in a galaxy far far away....

Ed Wars

It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil and greedy Galactic Ed-pire. During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH SCAM, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet, but not before robbing it of all its cash. Pursued by the Ed-pire's sinister agents, Princess Sara races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy....

Chapter 1: The Beginning Over Tatooine, a small ship, from the Rebels, called the Unicorn Cruiser, was flying overhead, fighting back against an Edperial Star Scammer, which looked suspiciously like a dollar sign. Alas, the Unicorn Cruiser was losing hastily, as the Star Scammer was taking down its defenses.  
This was noticed by the rebels and a couple of droids, namely C-3P0 and R2-D2 who were slightly panicking. C-3P0 spoke in a voice that seemed like Edd's voice. "Oh the humanity! Why do we have to be attacked now, of all times!" screamed C-3P0.

R2 spoke in bleeps to speak to C-3P0. "Oh, don't give me that tone, mister," scolded C3P0 to R2.

Suddenly, the doors were being taken down. The rebels got out their Blasters (which looked suspiciously like the Canadian Squirt Gun), and aimed at the enemy. The enemies were Scamtroopers, covered in green and gold armor for protection, who also had blasters that looked like Canadian Squirt Guns. The battle began. Many rebels were hit, many Scamtroopers were killed, but the Scamtroopers won in the end. Surprisingly, C-3P0 and R2 weren't damaged at all, so they went to the captain of this ship, Princess Sara.

Sara herself was in her computer room. When she saw the two robots, she said, "R2, I see that you came for the plans to be put into your programming?"

R2 beeped in an affirmative tone. "Well then," she said as she put the chip into his Hard drive. "Go to Tatooine, find Double-D Kenobi, and tell him the following message..."

---

Meanwhile, a man in a black suit, and a black helmet-mask combo that looked suspiciously like a melon, named Darth Vader, had come to negotiate things with one of the Rebel Captains. He had with him a lightsaber, a mechanical arm, and a wooden board with a smiley-face on it. "Captain Antilles, I presume," said Darth.  
"Darth Vader, I guess," said Antilles. "As well as that inanimate object?"  
"Do not taunt Darth Plank. He is really sensitive."  
"Yeah," chuckled Antilles. "I'm scared so much, I'm stiff as a board, and I'm- Erk!" He couldn't finish his last sentence, for Vader was choking him with the force.  
"Where is Princess Sara?!" screamed Darth Vader.  
"I don't know!" choked Antilles, with his last breaths.  
Darth Vader grimaced. "Everyone, check this whole ship for Princess Sara. I want her found alive. Not dead, _alive_, or Darth Plank will see to it that this will be your last planetary rotation alive."

Meanwhile, with Sara, she was seeing the droids off. "I'm going to find that FatHead, Darth Vader. You two remember your mission? Good, now, adios?" she said as she launched the escape pod the droids were on. She then left to go find Darth Vader to negotiate things. She wandered around the halls, avoiding Scamtroopers and Edperial officers. She was nearly there when she bumped right into a Scamtrooper.  
"Er.." Sara stammered, but the Scamtrooper grabbed her by the shoulder.  
"You're coming with me," said the Edperial trooper, pulling her toward Darth Vader... who was in the room parallel to this one.  
"Very good," said Darth. "You shall be rewarded with a Jawbreaker when we get back. Now, Princess Sara....?"  
"LET GO OF ME, YOU JERKS!" shouted Princess Sara.  
"You're coming with us to the Death Scam..."

Meanwhile, on Tatooine... R2 and C-3P0 had just landed. Of course, if you know C-3P0 from the Star Wars universe, then he complained.

"This is unsanitary! Untidy blankets of sand! Dust storms! Mucky boys loose! Why, I'm lucky my circuits aren't backfiring..."

* * *

To be continued...


End file.
